Jesus Loves Me! This I Know

For the Bible tells me so

Little ones to Him belong

They are weak but He is strong

lyrics by Anna Warner

I never got to post on our blog for Mali, http://maliyue.blogspot.com/, after we got home from China. I thought I would continue where I left off on this blog.

When we got home, Mali, 2 years old at the time, adjusted like she had always been here. She got down out of my lap and began to play like she knew where everything was. She went to sleep the first night and slept through the night which is very rare because of the time change. She was the easiest of all three of my girls as far as adjusting to all the changes in her life. I was in shock to be honest. I was fully expecting it to be hard just because she was older than my other two when we got them and it took time for them to adjust when they first got home.

Well, Lili, also 2 at the time, decided she needed to take up the slack and fill in. Lili started screaming in the middle of the night not just once but several times throughout the night. Nothing could make her stop. Lili was angry that we had been gone for 15 days and then brought back a souvenir that she was not too happy about. It was fun in theory but not fun in reality. The fun was over and it was time for Mali to go….at least, out of her room. The sight of her was a constant reminder that she was not the only one in the universe nor the only one in her room. So Lili screamed. She tore up muffins to smithereens at breakfast and she did anything she could to rebel.

This went on for several days and I thought I had already reached my breaking point but I was wrong. Lili showed me that I could reach to even greater heights when she started screaming again in the middle of the night over and over again. After about the fourth time, I had had it. I was not going to have Lili run our lives. She was going to have something to cry about. As I jumped out of bed and darted toward her door, I started to burst out crying and asked God, “What do I do. I have tried everything.” I fully expected not to hear an answer right away and that would be all the silence I needed to go forward with my plan to show who really is boss but God DID whisper in my heart, “Just love her.” I thought, You have to be kidding! This can’t be God because God would know what a terror she has been acting like but I also knew it could not have been my thoughts. God’s ways and thoughts are higher than my thoughts (Isaiah 55:8). Well, I stood in the hallway because the last thing I wanted to do was love on her. Finally, I turned around and went back to my bed and Chris said, “I have been praying and I feel like God was saying that Lili just needs us to love her.” Of course, I started sobbing then I got up and went to her room. I took her out of her bed, prayed over her and sang to her. I would love to say that everything changed that night. We still struggled but over time, Lili began to realize that we loved her, that Mali did not take her place and then, eventually, she was able to love Mali.

I cry thinking that God with all his compassion and loving kindness treats us the same way. We can be angry, rebellious, turn our backs on Him when things don't turn out like we wanted them to but He is always there to pick us up out of the pit and just love on us. Even while we are screaming with our backs arched saying, "I won’t let you love me", He just holds us tight, draws us near and never lets us go.

Today, I am happy to say that Sami (7), Lili (5) and Mali (5) share a room. Sami sleeps on the top bunk of the Dollhouse Bed and Mali and Lili share a queen bed on the bottom and they love it! Sami even comes down and sleeps with them most weekends. I can truly say they love each other and share a bond like no other. Of course, they have their "moments" but don't we all. :)