I Lift My Hands To The Heavens

For The Lord My God Is Here

I'll Sing With The Praises Of All Creation

You're My Everything

lyrics by Hillsong London

(Photo of Joseph weighing 9.5 kgs)

When we got to Guangzhou, Joseph had to have a physical on Saturday in order to complete the paperwork for his visa. First, they check his height, weight and temperature. When the nurse put him on the scales, it read 9.549 Kilograms!!!!!!!! In one week, he had GAINED 4 lbs!!!!! I was in shock even though I had been weighing him on the scales in the hotel in Shanghai and thought he was gaining weight each day. Then the doctor check his heart and lungs and went back to Joseph's paperwork. She kept reading it over and over again. I was really getting concerned because usually the process is done in one minute and then they bring in the next baby. We were in the room with the doctor for 10 minutes! Finally, our guide ask if there was something wrong. The doctor said that she could not find anything wrong with Joseph's heart and that everything was good now. The guide also ask if she was concerned about how little he was. She said he was fine and that he would grow with good nutrition. I was so overwhelmed with God's goodness and I still am!

Thank you so much for all your prayers for Joseph. God has been so faithful! In fact, Joseph is doing really great. He still has trouble keeping his balance and climbing steps when he walks but it could be because his shoes are way to big for him. :) Joseph loves his shoes and cries when you take them off because he wants to walk the town. He has sat long enough and he is always ready to go. Joseph is also always polite and stops and points as if asking permission if he can do something. If we say "yes", life is great but when we say "no", Joseph starts yelling and bringing down the house. When the little guy is yelling, it is almost like he is saying, "I tried to be polite but when polite didn't work, I had to get ugly." Then we come back to the room, he picks himself up, gives you his little grin and is ready to go again. I told my parents that Joseph is really funny but he can also be really stubborn. My Dad laughed and said, "He sounds like one of us."

When I lay him in the crib at night, he will reach his little hand through the bars to hold my hand to make sure that I am there. He will do this several times then he will roll over and go to sleep. He still rocks in the middle of the night but it is less frequent and less intense.

I can't thank you enough for all your prayers for Joseph. Please keep praying because God is answering and I know that even if Joseph loses his balance along the way, God will be there to take his hand and pick him up. "For I am the Lord, your God who takes hold of your right hand and says to you, "Do not fear; I will help you" (Isaiah 41:13).

Rock of Ages

cleft for me,
let me hide myself in thee
lyrics by Augustus M. Toplady

While you are waiting for adoption paperwork to be finalize, your guide will usually take you around the area to do shopping and see sights. We had seen most of Shanghai when we came to get Mali in 2005 so after several days of sightseeing, I ask if we could go to see Joseph's finding place. The driver had a hard time finding it because the area was being demolished and would later be replaced by government buildings. They allowed us to walk through the construction site and take some pictures with Joseph. As I write to you, I' am reminded of what one of the mothers on our trip told me today. She said, "I did a study on children who have spent several years in an orphanage. The study showed you could not spoil the child because they had so many needs that had been unmet. Each unmet need represented a "rock" so each child would leave the orphanage with a "pile of rocks". Now each time you meet a need, you are throwing one of the "rocks" out of the pile but you will never be able to get rid of all the "rocks" no matter what you do.

Now three years later, after God heard the cry of a little boy, we were standing in the same place holding our son among the rocks. I knew we would never be able to get rid of Joseph's "pile of rocks" but I also knew that the Rock of Ages could. He would not only get rid of them, He would turn them into treasures from the dark (Isaiah 45:3).

This Little Light of Mine

I'm gonna let it shine

Let it Shine, Let it Shine, Let it Shine

lyric source unknown

On the day we went to the orphanage, they brought us into a conference room to complete the adoption paperwork. While we were doing the paperwork, they brought Joseph in. We did not have a chance to get prepared to videotape our little man or to have everything at hand to meet his needs. In fact, everything happened so fast that we do not even have Joseph's Gotcha Day on video because they had Chris finishing the paperwork while I was holding Joseph trying to console him. He was crying and I started looking in my bag, frantically, to find something for Joseph. Thank goodness I had brought Cheerios because Joseph loved them and quickly quit crying. Usually, they will have you complete the paperwork and then will announce that they are bringing the child in or like Mali, they took us directly to her in her room before doing the paperwork. After Chris was finished and we had taken a few pictures, they were ready to see us go but then I ask if we could see Joseph's Room. They got really uncomfortable and decided to have a "meeting" to discuss it. Finally, they decided to let me take a picture of Joseph's bed but not of the children or anything else. I could not understand why since I had a totally different experience with Mali at the same orphanage.

As we went into the building where the children were, I knew why. The orphanage looked run down compared to when we got Mali. There was even a giant hole in one of the walls that led to the outside. All the lights were out in the whole building and there was no air conditioning in 90 Degree Weather. In fact, by the time we reached Joseph's Room, I was soaking wet. When I walked into his room, the lights were off and all the children were in saucers which explains why Joseph could not walk because he went from a crib to a stationary saucer. The orphanage workers quickly led us to Joseph's Bed where we took a few pictures. Then Chris ask if we could see Mali's old room. They got really uncomfortable again and had another "meeting" then told us it was okay. As we walked to Mali's Room, they started apologizing about how the orphanage looked and said they were building a new one in a couple of years. Even though the appearance of orphanage was dark and depressing, the most haunting thing to me was there were over 1400 children in the building but no noise. I never remember hearing any laughter or any crying just nothing. It was totally quiet. Even when we went into both Joseph and Mali's Room there was no noise. Only when Chris touched the children, did you hear laughter.

As we came out of the dark building into the light of the day, I was so thankful that we finally had Joseph but I also could not help but think of the children left behind. The China Adoption Program for Non-Special Needs Children has a waiting time that has reached almost 2 years. I complained one day to God about how does He expect me to be able to get families to want to adopt from the China Program when many families are already waiting almost 2 years for their referrals. He reminded me that the "wait" is what many children feel in the orphanage their whole life. He also reminded me that the Special Needs Program only has a wait of 4 months after your paperwork goes to China. So I'am asking families who have a desire for more children to meet the desire of a child to have a family. I'am asking those who are longing to hold a child to meet the need of a child longing to be held. I'am asking you to tell many so that we can bring many out of the darkness and into the light.

How Great Is Our God

Sing with me

How Great is our God!

Lyrics by Chris Tomlin

On Sunday, July 20th, we were able to finally hold our beautiful baby boy in our arms. When he smiles, he looks so much like Sami did when she was a baby. He is precious and he can't get enough kisses which we are happy to provide. He also cannot get enough food and has not stopped eatting since we have been here. In the middle of the night, while he is sleeping, he will hold one arm on the crib and rock his head back and forth. I' am sure that is what he did to comfort himself. It is so hard to let him do it but if you try to stop it, he wakes up and cries. I keep whispering to him, "It is okay. Mama is here" but I know, like Lili, it will take time. When I cried about it, Chris said, "You would rock, too, if you had to stay in a crib for 3 years. He has been through a lot. " He has been in the crib for most of his days because he can barely walk and has a hard time keeping his balance but just like Mali, it will take time. And in God's time, He makes everything so beautiful (Ecc 3:11).

Because He Lives

All fear is gone

Because I know

He holds the future

(photo sent by orphanage on 7/15/08)

Late Tuesday Night, I received an email from Joseph's orphanage. I was so excited because I had emailed them several times asking for a current photo and measurements of Joseph but there had been no response. In the email, they had given me his current measurements and said they would send a photo in a separate email. I thanked them and could not wait to see how much he had grown. All the measurements were in kilograms and centimeters and I was anxious to convert them to pounds and inches. I started with his weight which was 7.5 kgs and, suddenly, realized he weighed just 16.5 pounds. I ran and got his paperwork which was done in May 2007 and it showed he weighed 9 kgs or 19.8 lbs. He had lost 3 lbs!! I, literally, fell to the floor and sobbed. I kept saying, over and over again, "God, please help me" because I was so overwhelmed with fear for Joseph. The two things that came to mind were Chris said he wanted a baby and Joseph was the definitely the size of a baby. The other was a shirt that Chris had bought Joseph that read "Large and In Charge" with a bulldozer on it. I went back to the computer to convert the other measurements and saw that I had just received another email from the orphanage. It read, "We all love Guo Zhi" and included the photo of Joseph. When I opened the photo, I saw his bright eyes and his big smile. I stopped crying. I was so relieved to see that he was smiling but could not believe how small he looked at just 3 years old.

The next day, July 16th, was Chris' Birthday. Sami was so excited and wanted to decorate the whole house. She loves her Daddy and I loved watching her give everybody directions on what to do. After making him a card, she took quarters out of her Ladybug Bank and put them in the card. I knew Chris would love it! I decided to give the photo of Joseph, our little man with the big smile, to Chris as a surprise. Throughout the day, I was so worried about Joseph that I could hardly function and "The Large and In Charge" Bulldozer Shirt kept coming to my mind. I went to find the shirt and saw that Chris already packed it along with another shirt that said, "My Daddy saids I am keeper" (a fishing shirt), several different balls in all kinds of sizes, Joseph's little red Crocs and Chris' big tennis shoes in front of them. When I looked at Joseph's shoes compared to Chris' shoes, I could not help but think of how God sees us and how we see ourselves. I am focused on how small Joseph is now but God see the man who will , one day, walk in the big shoes.....A man, "Large and In Charge" for Christ.

When Chris came home from work, the girls ran to the door to wish him a "Happy Birthday"! They could not wait for him to see the decorations and open his gifts. When Chris opened my gift, I had attached a note over the frame that said "Your Son, Large and In Charge". Chris was shocked that we had gotten a picture of Joseph and loved that he was smiling. He commented about how small he was and I told him how much he weighed. Chris said, "Well, that is disturbing." Later, I motioned Chris to go to our room. The look of concern from Chris was all I needed to start crying again. I'am the one who tends to worry so if Chris is worried then I'am really worried. I started telling him about Joseph and how he had lost weight. When I stopped talking, I looked at Chris who is seriously pondering every thing I have said. Then with words of wisdom, he said, "That kid just needs an icecream cone". I was laughing so hard and crying at the same time. I just love that man!

That same day, I spoke with our pediatrician and asked him if he was concerned about Joseph. He said, "It is not unusual for a child in an orphanage to get that small and that once we brought him home, bonded with him, he would grow. It will probably take a couple of years for him to catch up but that he would catch up." He was right. I had forgotten how faithful God had been in all my girls lives because I had been so full of fear. "Many, O Lord my God, are the wonders you have done" (Psalm 40:5). At that moment, I knew I needed to quit focusing on how small Joseph was and start remembering how BIG our God is.

When Loves Takes You In

Somewhere while you're sleeping

Someone else is dreaming too

Counting down the days until

They hold you close and say I love you

lyrics by Steven Curtis Chapman

(Photo taken May 2007)

On Friday, July 18th, 2008, we leave at 9:55 a.m. from Atlanta on Delta Flight 19 and land in Shanghai at 1:35 p.m. (China Time) on Saturday, July 19th. The flight is about 15 hours and 40 minutes. I call the flight and the thought of having to leave my children for 13 days my "labor pains". :) We should get our son, Joseph, on Sunday, July 20th and the adoption will made official on Monday, July 21st when we finish the Adoption Registration and Notarization. On Friday, July 25th, we will be able to pick up Joseph's Chinese Passport and get our notarial certificates. We will then fly to Guangzhou that same evening.

While in Guangzhou, we will complete the USCIS paperwork for our Consulate Appointment. On Tuesday, July 29th, we will go to the Consulate Appointment for our Oath Swearing Ceremony and get Joseph's visa. We will be able to leave Guangzhou and return to the USA with our son and unite with our girls on Wednesday, July 30th, 2008!!!!

PLEASE be praying for Joseph and for all of us. You don't know how much your prayers and words of encouragement mean to us. We love you all so very much and feel so blessed that you will be able to journey with us as we count down the days for God to bring us to our son and hold him in our arms.

You Are So Good To Me

You heal my broken heart
You are my Father in Heaven

You are beautiful, my sweet, sweet song

lyrics by Third Day

(Photo taken May 2007)

On February 28, 2008, almost 10 months from the day we were hit by a “small bundle of rice” , a new Waiting Child List was posted and I was drawn to a 2 year old boy named Guo Zhi Zhao who was born on June 4, 2005. He would turn three in just a few months. His special need was Paroxysmal Supraventricular Tachycardia and “low growth for weight/height”. I called Chris while he was at work to find out if we could get his information. He said that he was not there to look at the information but that he did not want to pursue an older child, he really wanted a baby and, again, told me that we would not know what to do with a boy since we have three girls with tons of girl toys, clothes, etc. I said okay but, again, was so drawn to the little boy that I did not know what to do. I called Chris again and gave him the information on the list and ask him what he wanted me to do since the only child I was drawn to was Guo Zhi. He told me, “Well, I guess it does not matter that the child is older and Sami has been wanting a brother.” Even so, at one point during the paperwork, I had asked Sami if she thought that we would have a girl or a boy this time. She totally surprised me when she said, “Mom, before time began, God had this child planned for our family." I cried because she was repeating what I had told them so many times and that God used her to remind me.

Well, I requested his information and the first thing I wanted to know was the meaning of his name. Guo means “country, state, nation” and was also the first name of our oldest daughter’s, Sami, Chinese name (Guo Jia Yuan). Zhi means “The Will”. I could not believe how God was so personal in answering my prayer when I kept asking “What is your will?” and then sends us this little boy, Zhi, “The Will”. It was like God was saying in His sweet, gentle way that this is My Will. I also realized, after I requested his information, that he was born in Shanghai and was placed in the Shanghai Welfare Institute on August 26th, 2005. Mali had also been born in Shanghai and was placed in the Shanghai Welfare Institute EXACTLY two years earlier, on August 26, 2003. In fact, he was there, exactly one month, when we went to get Mali at the orphanage on September 26, 2005. They also both had heart conditions as well. Mali had a VSD (a hole in her heart) and Zhi had tachycardia. It was another confirmation from God.

The CCAA (China Center of Adoption Affairs) was starting a new online system and would only allow 4 days for you to have the file reviewed by a specialist, get the required letter from your insurance company and make a decision. You are not allowed to make a decision unless the file has been reviewed by a doctor and you have a letter from your insurance company stating they will cover the child once they are adopted. When Chris came home from work, he saw his picture and said, “Oh, he is so cute.” He wanted me to take his information directly to our pediatrician and have it reviewed. I told him I could not drive it up there this afternoon because I was watching my friend’s kids and I would take it up tomorrow morning. He said, “I will watch them outside on the swing set. Just take it up there NOW and drop it off so he can look at it tonight!” I was totally in shock and, of course, I did it. The doctor said that he thought the tachycardia might be due to being malnourished but, of course, could not guarantee this and that his “low growth-weight/height” according to China could change totally with love and nourishment just like we had seen in Mali.

I told Chris the information from the doctor and once we received the required letter from the insurance company, he DEFINITELY wanted to pursue. I asked him what he wanted to do if the other family decided to pursue him and he said, “We take it before the agency. Let them pray about it and let God decide.” I totally agreed. I knew, at that moment, he was our son. Finally, on March 5, 2008, the agency called and said that they had prayed about their decision, over several days, and that they had chosen us as the family to pursue Guo Zhi Zhao. We were overjoyed and, on that day, Guo Zhi became Joseph Zhi. He was named after his Baba, Christopher Joseph.

Later, God did one more thing that was so personal and humorous to confirm that Zhi was our son. One of my friends, called and asked what we were going to name him. After I told her that his name was Joseph, she said that she was so surprised because she thought I would name him something that ended with an “i” like my other girls, Sami, Lili and Mali. We laughed about it and later after I hung up the phone, the Lord reminded me that his name does end in an ’I”, his middle name, Zhi. God is so good! I just love Him.

Many times, people ask me what we are going to do with a boy. Well, I just tell them the same thing that I felt God showed me. He reminded me that a lot of things my girls do, boys do. They swing, swim, ride bikes, play in the sand (we have a sandbox), go fishing (we have a small lake in our backyard), jump on the trampoline, play Wii, play chase and hide-n-seek. There is so many things that they can do together.

Just like Chris said, since we have three girls, we had nothing for a little boy….no clothes, no toys and no furniture. Well, we had a white twin bed but it looked more for a girl than a boy but I thought I could make it work. I just prayed and asked God if he would help me to find a cute chest for his clothes to go in. I could not believe it when, that same week, my sister-in-law, Brenda said that her husband, Quintin, had a client that was trying to give away boy furniture. The family did not want any money for the furniture since they had been blessed so much but only needed someone to come and pick it up that day. I called Chris to see what he would say and he was like “YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I CAN PICK IT UP TODAY!” I am going to be honest even after God has proven, over and over again, to do more than I could ever imagine, I really expected this furniture to be beat up since it was boy furniture and that the boys had outgrown it. Well, I was so wrong. It was beautiful Broyhill furniture!!! The family gave us bunk beds, a dresser with a mirror, a shelf, a nightstand AND a chest. God did not just answer my prayer, for a chest…………thank goodness………but far exceeded anything that I could ever have imagined.

Oh, God also covered the clothes and the toys. My friend, Kathy Ragsdale, gave us some of her boy clothes and Chris came home with 4 bags of new clothes!!! He also bought toys, too, which include a Big Wheel and a John Deere Loader he can ride, cars and trucks-big and small and tools. Chris said every guy has to have tools even if they are plastic. I even went and got him a small train set. The whole room was completely full and we even had extra. God did not just give Joseph a bed but also gave us one extra since we were given bunk beds. Of course, I can’t help but think of the meaning of the name, Joseph, "May God Add Another". :)