The Voice of Truth

The voice of Truth says "Do not be afraid"
The voice of Truth says "This is for My glory"
Out of all the voices calling out to me
I will chose to listen and believe

the voice of Truth
lyrics by Steven Curtis Chapman/Mark Hall

On April 26, 2009, my only concern was whether God was truly calling us to home school. During a sermon entitled, "How Big Is Your God" by Randy Gravitt, I was begging God to confirm, ONE MORE TIME, what we were suppose to do. Well, He did speak but not in the way I was expecting. Let me go back to the day before. Lili, who was six at the time, had found a Chinese bracelet while we were dusting her room. I told her it was given to me by one of the mothers in our group who had all went to China together when we adopted her. Of course, Lili, who loves jewelry, wanted it. She is very sentimental and keeps every love note or birthday card so you can imagine how much this bracelet meant to her. During the sermon, Lili put the Chinese bracelet on my wrist. At that moment, God spoke to my heart that there were five wooden beads on the bracelet that represented my five children from China. In a split second, I responded, "But I only have four children...." Then I felt God speak to my heart again that He wanted us to go back for the fifth child. I said, "How will I be able to home school if we go back now?" This time there was no answer. I was in shock. Don't get me wrong. I knew we were going back. I just never thought so soon. We had just gotten home with Joseph in July 2008. It had not even been a full year yet.

After the service, I saw a very close friend of mine who was also planning to home school for the first time starting in August of 2009. My friend told me she felt like God had spoken to her during the service that she was going to have another child. She said she told Him, "Then how am I going to home school?" I was totally floored and said, "You are not going to believe this but I felt like God said the same thing to me." I held up my wrist to show her the bracelet. Without explaining anything, she yells, "FIVE beads!" and we both started crying. God is so amazing! You see, my friend has been on this journey with me from the very beginning before I had kids. She is one of my dearest friends who I would cry to when I had felt God saying I was going to have children but I never got pregnant. What I did not know at the time was that He would give me children through adoption and not in the way I expected. Of course, that is how God is. He never does what you imagine. He always does so much more than you imagine. He is the GREATEST storyteller of your life, better than any movie or novel written, and will always keep you wanting more, hanging on to the edge of your seat. "All my days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be" (Psalm 139:16).

I forgot to mention that by the end of the sermon, Randy Gravitt said, "Is God asking you to lay down something and pick something else up?" I knew it was time to lay down my agenda for our family and pick up God's agenda for our family--to home school. I do not believe that He calls every family to home school but only what He believes is best for your family. Chris and I had finally decided to trust God that He knew what was best for our family and just do it. I had tried many times to tell Him that there was NO WAY I could do this. In the past, I had even told people that were going to home school, "God would have to give me a burning bush experience before I would home school." Instead, it burned in my heart. He would not let up. I tried to tell Him what a bad influence I was and that they already had picked up my bad habits. What would happen if they were with me all day? I did not want them to be mini-mes with all my quirks. I felt like God was saying to my heart, "I know you cannot do it. I know you are not perfect but I know you can do it through My strength (Phil 4:13). I am not asking you to be perfect. I am asking you to trust the One who is perfect and point your children to Me. Yes, apart from Me you can do NOTHING. With Me, you can do all things for My glory" (John 15:5-8).

Believe me, God picks people like me, weak and ordinary, so He can show His glory (I Corinthians 1:26-31). Then everyone is saying, "Well, we know Tanya could not do this so it has to be God." Sometimes, I forget that it is God doing it through me. I try to home school in my own strength when I get "too busy" to stop and be still before God. It does not take long before I am in a heap crying saying, "I can't do this!" God is so gentle. He picks me up and shows me a lesson through my son, Joseph. One day, he was crying about something he could not do. I reminded him that he does not have to cry about it. He just needs to say, "Please, help me," and I will help him. I felt God saying to my heart, "That goes for you, too." Instead of crying saying, 'I can't do this,' just say 'God, please help me,' the next time you are having a hard time." It made me laugh. I never could understand why Joseph would just cry in frustration instead of asking for help when I was right there beside him. God was letting me know that He is also right there beside me every moment of the day. All I need to do is ask Him for help. "He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak" (Isaiah 40:29).

On the ride home, I told Chris everything that had happened during and after the service. He told me that he also felt God was speaking to him about the same things during the service. After God had revealed Himself in such a HUGE way, we decided we would move forward to home school and also start the process of adopting our fifth child. There were so many fears and insecurities in my head that day but I had to make a choice---to listen to the voice of Truth and believe that God is so much bigger than my weaknesses. "I am the way, the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through Me.....And I will ask the Father and He will give you another Counselor to be with you forever--the Spirit of truth (Holy Sprit)" (John 14:6,16-17).

The Day

Oh such tears of joy,

I’ve never known,

I can’t remember

It’s like a song, I’ve never heard

I’ve never sung, but know the words

lyrics by Baby Face

Today, we celebrated Joseph's Gotcha Day. The day, we held him in our arms for the very first time in China. I remember worrying so much about how small and fragile he was. Can you believe he gained 17 lbs and 7 inches in one year? He had hardly any muscle mass and couldn't even roll over on his back. Now he is running, jumping and swimming! God is so amazing! "The Lord has done great things for us, and we are filled with joy" (Psalm 126:3).

Happy Birthday To You!

Happy Birthday to You

Happy Birthday Dear Joseph

Happy Birthday to You!

Written by Mildred J. Hill, Patty S. Hill

I know I was not present at the birth of my children and able to witness them taking their first breath but the breath of the Almighty who gives life was there (Job 33:4). He could have chosen to let me carry them in my womb but instead He closed my womb and allowed another precious one to carry them.

Today, I celebrate their lives and praise God that I am able to witness each moment and every breath. "He settles the barren woman in her home as a happy mother of children. Praise the LORD" (Psalm 113:9).

The Motions

I don't wanna go one more day

Without Your all consuming passion inside of me

I don't wanna spend my whole life asking,

"What if I had given everything,

instead of going through the motions?"

lyrics by Matthew West

On Easter, we can get so focused on Easter clothes and Easter baskets that we really forget what we are celebrating. Jesus suffered, died on a cross, rose again on the third day and conquered death. Why? The wages of sin is death and Jesus paid our wages with His body and with His blood because the God of the Universe wanted to have a relationship with us. We could never have been good enough, gone to church enough, helped others enough to be able to come into the presence of the Lord. We are just not that good. Only through Jesus and his righteousness are we able to come to Him and have a relationship with God. "His unchanging plan has always been to adopt us into His own family by bringing us to himself THROUGH JESUS CHRIST. And this gave Him great pleasure. So we praise God for the wonderful kindness He has poured out on us because we belong to His dearly loved Son. He is so rich in kindness that He purchased our FREEDOM through the blood of His Son, and our sins are forgiven" (Ephesians 1:5-7).

Next year, I have decided that I am going to really celebrate Easter instead of going through the motions. On 4th of July, we go all out with fireworks to celebrate our freedom as a nation. Why should we not also teach our kids to celebrate Easter with the same enthusiasm because of the freedom that Jesus died for so that we would no longer be slaves to the law? "It is for freedom that Christ has set us free " Galatians 5:1. The freedom comes from when we realize we could never be good enough to get to heaven or good enough to serve Him and that "the wages of sin is death, BUT the gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord" (Romans 6:23). So let's celebrate, with passion, all that God has done for us on Easter and every day instead of just going through the motions!!!!

What Can Wash Away My Sin?

Nothing but the blood of Jesus;
What can make me whole again?
Nothing but the blood of Jesus.

Oh! precious is the flow;

That makes me white as snow.

lyrics by Robert Lowry

Joseph saw his first snow today. Everyone had lots of fun until the snow ball fight because half of the snow worked its way inside their jackets and gloves. Of course, after the snow looks more like dirt, it is just not that fun anymore. The thing that draws you is the fresh, beautiful snow that has never been touched. You just can't wait to get your hands on it.

Then I remembered that God made the first man, Adam, from "the dust of the ground and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life, and the man became a living being" (Genesis 2:7). That same man disobeyed God and brought sin into the world by eating of the one tree that they were not suppose to, the tree of life. "He must not be allowed to reach out his hand and take also from the tree of life and eat, and live forever" (Genesis 2:22). Basically, sin was brought into the world and the wages of sin is death (Romans 6:23).

If that was the end of the story, it would be a sad story but God and his unfailing love provided a plan and that plan was Jesus. "For God so loved the world that He gave His one and only Son that whosoever BELIEVES IN HIM will have ETERNAL LIFE" (John 3:16). This life on this earth is but a vapor but when we leave this earth, we will live forever in His presence if we accept His gift, Jesus, as Lord and Savior of our lives. Remember, it is a GIFT not something we did to earn it so that we could boast about it. "For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith (in Jesus Christ)—and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God—not by works, so that no one can boast" (Ephesians 2:8-9).

If we could have done it on our own, there would have been no need for Jesus to die on a cross. But there was a need. The wages of our sin is death but JESUS paid our ransom with His life. "For even the Son of Man (Jesus) did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many" (Mark 10:45). "He himself bore our sins in His body on the tree (cross), so that we might die to sin and live for righteousness" (I Peter 2:24).

The Good News is "for just as through the disobedience of the one man (Adam) the many were made sinners , so also through the obedience of the One (Jesus) the many will be made righteous" (Romans 5:19). When we accept the Gift, we were made RIGHTEOUS BY THE BLOOD OF JESUS. "Though your sins are like scarlet, they shall be as WHITE AS SNOW; though they are red as crimson, they shall be like wool" (Isaiah 1:18). So when we confess Jesus as Lord of our lives and acknowledge that He died for our sins, God doesn't see the "dirt", our sin, but only sees the "beautiful snow", the righteousness of Christ, that covers us and He can't wait to get His hands on us to use us for His glory.

Happy Birthday Jesus!

I'm so glad it's Christmas

All the tinsel and lights

And the presents are nice

But the real gift is You.

written by Carol Cymbala

Everything seemed so busy leading up to Christmas Day....searching for the perfect gifts for the special people in our lives. It gets so stressful because you really want that person to know how much you love and care about them through a gift. You really try to put so much thought into it because you can't wait to see the joy that the gift brings.

Then, suddenly, you realize that is what the Heavenly Father did. He wanted us to know that He loves us so much that He was willing to let His One and Only Son, Whom He loved, suffer and die for our sins and then raise Him from the grave so that we could have a relationship with Him. "For the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord" (Romans 3:23). It was God's precious Gift to us. He couldn't wait for everyone to "see" Him whether in Bethlehem or through our own eyes of faith. He offered this Gift to us NOT BECAUSE OF HOW GOOD WE WERE but because of HOW GREAT HE IS (Ephesians 2:8-9). His desire was for us to experience the joy of receiving the Gift.

Since we have received that precious Gift into our hearts and lives, He only ask that we do everything to pass on the Gift, Jesus Christ, to those who don't know Him so they, too, can experience that same joy. God could have done it Himself but He chose us, like the shepherds "to spread the word" so that everyone could come and "see".

So many want peace in their homes, in their marriages and around the world in the Middle East and across the nations. Peace can only come through the Prince of Peace. May we do everything in and through His power by praying for opportunities to share the Gift and to support missions to reach those across the other side of the world. May we do so we the same desire, urgency and determination as we do when we are trying to give that special gift to someone special because we can't wait to "see" the joy that the Gift will bring to them.

God Of This City

You're the God of this city

You're the King of these people

You're the Lord of this nation

You Are

lyrics by Chris Tomlin

(Photo taken 10/31/2008)

I know with everything going on with the world today, I can really allow fear to creep into my mind. I can worry about what decision our leaders are going to make and what the outcome will be for our future. But I must always remember that God is our King. He is Lord of this nation. He is the God of our cities. He is the One and Only. There is none like Him nor will there ever be. He is the Alpha and the Omega, the Beginning and the End. HE IS!!!

"Sing praises to God, sing praises;

Sing praises to our King, sing praises.

For God is the King of all the earth;

Sing to him a psalm of praise.

God reigns over the nations;

God is seated on his holy throne."

Psalm 47:6-8